.

purpledust @ 2003-12-08T12:56:00

2003-12-08T18:07:18Z

hm. i had a dream with someone i havent hung out in while. something about snow, bullets, a hospital, and being in trance over someone. it wasn't out of nowhere though. have you noticed how the "holidays" make you think of people from long long ago?

i feel like going to the beach, but for once its cold?..i havent even been outside. a whole month and nothing to do..shit, and i have a job..lol. too funny.

this weekend was the shitters. friday night went to sleep at 6:30 am and had to sleep over Andrea's huge house with tennis courts and all. some family gossip is that my cousin wants to get married to some mexican, but he has blue eyes, so you know that makes it all better, only in Cali. haha. my other cousin is a drug dealer, nicee, that little boy.

work party was interesting, free drinks on sunday night has to be fun. and then other getty. everyone is too cute. really. i really wish i could go around telling everyone why there so great. haha. how drunk do i still sound?

purpledust @ 2003-12-05T11:36:00

2003-12-05T16:36:02Z

i'm looking online for diamonds and i can't seem to find 4 carat ones. maybe they don't exist, or i don't know shit about them, which seems more likely.

i have one more final and the semester is over. i want to start the other one already. i keep thinking that somehow i'll have amazing teachers that will make me learn without working that much and enjoy it. ha.

its friday too, and i don't want to spend money, or actually i want to spend lots of it, but not have to work as hard, or even work for it. more hoping here.

family reunion on saturday and i can't wait, to meet cousins and aunts and uncles from all over the place. extended family goes to around two hundred people. should be fun and some wine drinking can't hurt.

purpledust @ 2003-10-04T14:33:00

2003-10-04T19:33:00Z

I don't have anything to say yet again. Its sort of strange when you don't need to write anything down anymore, and you just know what you want and how to go about getting it. I miss writing though, analyzing stupid details and filling pages in a notebook and periodically looking back and laughing at the amusing details of it all.

I started smoking again. Cigarettes, my kind. I shall not change it either. No upgrades this time. Its gray and green outside. The weather just never changes. That grim Maren Ord or Emiliana Torrini I'm laying on my bed in summer and I want to get the fuck out of here mood. It just never changes.

Its probably apathy, or not. Something around there. What incentives or things to want so badly? none. I'm glad. I'm glad I haven't, though some part of me kills to. Early afternoon and many things can happen.

purpledust @ 2003-09-21T12:15:00

2003-09-21T17:15:25Z

"should we go in there?"
"no the bouncer is ugly".

Any place that overlooks the water and buildings is hot.
I was so drunk last night and didn't notice. then when I felt like a floating helium balloon wanting water, I knew something was up.

um. yea..I'm sure there's crap I want to say..but disorientation is taking over and I'm just staring at the screen.

purpledust @ 2003-09-21T11:32:00

2003-09-21T16:33:41Z

oOo what I got, one thing leads to another

purpledust @ 2003-09-14T23:20:00

2003-09-15T03:18:52Z

I had lots of fun this weekend. Friday was dinner at On the Border and then that rainy frat party with Michelle and Tom. Drives around the corner and coming back blasting Led Zeppelin and Aretha Franklin, what a statement.

Saturday went over to Alex's house, where her and Hector taught me faced paced drumming lessons, I apparently have innate talent. Then we had parking lot adventures with the "bicyclers", lol, while having nasttty vodka. Danced a lot and met some interesting people. And those same two gay guys were there.

Woke up at 3 in the afternoon today and went to the radio station so Ems could show me around. Emily Easterly was great, and we all had good discussions about our evaporating scene.

Now I'm doing lovely Chem homework and I'm almost done. So much time do everything..hmmm, I must find a job or a fast paced lifestyle. ha.

p.s. thank you everyone who was a part of my weekend.

purpledust @ 2003-09-07T02:33:00

2003-09-07T06:32:48Z

Free spirits can never be tied down

purpledust @ 2003-08-24T14:33:00

2003-08-24T18:33:48Z

um. every time I drink water, I feel drunk again. or maybe I still am. blah.

I love pavements, especially black ones. and my yellow heels that I hold in my hand and ask strangers who park their cars if they think they are hot.

I'm eating words again. I amazed I can combine sentences.

I think I want to go lay down in my couchhh. or quizzy time. lmao.

purpledust @ 2003-08-13T11:11:00

2003-08-13T15:11:27Z

Today is my birthday, yay. I'm 19 now. I intend on do all my activities and partying later. And so far I got my usual song that my brother composes every year and some birthday wishes.

purpledust @ 2003-08-08T18:17:00

2003-08-08T22:17:16Z

Je suis une fille très ennuyée. Dois-je sortir et dois rencontrer des gens? Je ne peux pas croire que je demande ceci. Je souhaite que j'avais beaucoup d'argent pour aller commercial maintenant. J'ai dépensé le jour nettoyant et suis un bon mommy pour mon frère et ma soeur. Le dernier jour de classe, que faire-t-il pour deux semaines, pour mon anniversaire? S'il vous plaît quelque miracle de grand m'arrive! S'il vous plaît!

Sun

2003-07-19T22:37:13Z

Went with my mom up north. Stayed at a nice hotel. I love hotels and room service at one in the morning. Waterfall pools are awesome too and so are huge bathrooms. There was a Muslim wedding (I think) and my mom was like ohh yea, you should marry a guy like that so you can be a princess. lol. right.

I feel like I was gone forever. Nice vacation. I need another one for my birthday..which is amazing here yet again. ew. For once I do not want to get older.

I want more clothes.

TreeGrowsHeart:that's what i picture when we talk...a bleached fetus
PinkVodkaNights: bleached?
PinkVodkaNights: haha. any reason why it doesnt have color?

TreeGrowsHeart: although i guess fetii dont even have hair
TreeGrowsHeart: fetii...is that the plural of fetus?
PinkVodkaNights: i have no clue
PinkVodkaNights: is fetus latin?
TreeGrowsHeart: i dunno
TreeGrowsHeart: haha

starlettt

2003-07-11T04:28:53Z

I point out that hours in my days are like lifetimes.

Let's see, I got out of the house, drove on the highway and back streets all over the city eating popsicles with the wind in our hair. Wow, we have such nice places. I mean people live places and never seen beyond the obvious. I've outdone the city in two days, city whore.

Then watched airplanes go off on Perimeter Road, wrote names in the sand and waved to passing cars. doing what we like to do, our way

Dinner at in a Cantina. yayyy. Melz wearing freaking Communist colors and the people looking at us all weird. Then we went on our way home..and wouldn't you know its race night right?..sooo its Fast and the Furious come to life. lol. So we get off in the parking lot, made our presence, engines revving. I love hot cars, and black rims, black rims to be exact.

And now I'm fuckin exhausted and I'm fuckin sick of being productive. I'm gonna sit on the couch and watch Days of our Lives and Passions and eat and then tan and go to class and then get drunk. Yes. Fuck productivity.

yea i know...we're effervescent
like soda. lol

purpledust @ 2003-07-05T11:31:00

2003-07-05T16:31:20Z

ohhh man. Thanks Angelo for reminding me.One of my dreams that I had like two fuckin years ago came true.

That is sooo fuckin weirddd. holy shit. It was that Phillip was on his skateboard holding on to this car and I was like oh my god ur flying. It was by the Biltmore and there were fireworks. And I didn't know if I was in the car or out of it. Cause I was so disconnected. hmm. could it be the drug? yea. holy shit. Makes me wonder..are dreams your future? ohh man. weirddd.

I dreamt with fishes last night..but I think I was someone else? idk..maybe I was on drugs again. haha. rolls probably. I fuckin hate weed from now on.

Fourth of fuckin July

2003-07-05T07:06:36Z

Rolling was great. And I feel good. Extascy is the best.

The fireworks at the Biltmore exploded like a morning sunrise.

The clouds looked orange tonight. And smoking on the couch listening to A Perfect Circle with the fan blowin on me never felt so good.

Many People. Serotonin pills to keep you from coming down hard are even better. And I think I'm up for the whole night.

purpledust @ 2003-06-27T12:55:00

2003-06-27T16:54:37Z

I had more dreams. Fire alarms, stairs, rooms. eh. I don't care to fix anything consciously or subconscious.

I'm better.Thoughts that spiral in my head with no direction. A day's worth of thought is enough to kill a person. I'm amazed we're all alive. ha.

I hate this. Why really? Because it leaves me nothing to think about. Nothing to bitch about. Fuck you.

I skipped class today...way to start of the year. My dad is paying for me for to go to school..soo I'll take advantage of that. I mean, cause he gets to pick when he's a father, so I'll pick when I'm a student. Karma bitches. Karma.

I like...

2003-06-23T23:41:16Z

I like throwing rocks. I like cutting my hair into layers and I can't cut hair.

I like sleeping so I can avoid everything. I like how I'm pale, have a fever, my throat hurts and my head feels huge. I like mixing different illegal pill combinations and feeling fucked up, but I can't swallow pills so I make them into powder.

I could climb the roof and cut up pixies and comtemplate life. Or I could make up my own show called the 8spot-the best of sarcastic cranky sicky people come together. lol.

My hair feels soft, I wish I had someone to brush it for me.

I like feeling connected to some people, it makes me want to throw up. Don't ask how that goes. It does. Fuck off.

Mondays need a workout. Mondays are fat.
I like Tuesdays better.

My ramblings amuse me. I think I should sleep more.

purpledust @ 2003-06-07T14:02:00

2003-06-07T18:03:38Z

me and mels sat in front of the tv last night watching fastlane, the hottest show of life. visually stimulating with high contrast and saturation. life on the edge, we must be bond girls. then the news. haha. oh man. i never knew the news was so funny. we spent the whole time laughing.

oh my god, he has rosy cheeks!
he looks like he rapes little girls.
no, look at his cute face.
hence, melz, why he looks like he rapes little girls.

yea. i'm in the weirdest of moods. i want to lay in bed all day. lounge around. the couch, the grass, the floor. whatever. some juice. music really loud. bolero music hanging.

but its not that. my skin has a bit of a fire on it. this song. shit. old music. fuckkkk me.

in less than a half. mark my words. everything and everything.

j
what i draw when i'm bored in school

yes, i color like a five year old too. lol

i finally got my brother to put my picture on the computer screen.haha

The passion of life

2003-05-29T18:55:52Z

What's the use in making sense?

The more complicated, the more minimal you sometimes need.

You can only understand if I let you. Most thoughts are fragmented anyway. I love fragments.

Delirium rises and time moves slower. Dizzy, dizzy and you just can't faint.

Wake up from your slumber; so I can smack you with spontaneity.

purpledust @ 2003-05-25T16:45:00

2003-05-25T21:00:33Z

The last nights I've spent in empty parking lots with music blasting from cars and dancing and smoking. Pretty pictures where taken.

I don't know how I'm up. I wanted to lay in bed all day and spray Axe Body Spray.

I get my fix of you in cigarettes. I hope I die from them. How morbid.

I'm out like a cigarette stub.

don't you feel the air too?

2003-05-19T03:22:08Z

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Buildings, highways and fun drunken nights. I'd elaborate, But nah. Means more. Doesn't it always? haha.

Running through the streets of Downtown dancing at 4am with people watching and Melz screaming and laughing "Liz, stop it!, your gonna get run over!". So fun and free.

MMMMMM. Ohhh yea. I'm intoxicating. hahahaha.

Because its gonna storm..just like us

2003-05-13T03:07:44Z

And she said...let’s do school for an hour. Have piccnics and feel the wind, let’s not waste the day.

Oh how grand things could be or are, she isn’t sure. Filled with old summer songs and oozing with vibes. Vibes that blow as she walks by, making heads turn, turn like never before.

Writing in third person is the best..expresses things more. I’m marveled. Oh wow. Simply marveled. Thoughts that flood the mind with no direction. Maybe its true, all they say about me. Fun, weirdness, excitement, volatile, unexpected. I feel it. Maybe, just maybe I’ll shock them like never before. Ha. They won’t know what hit them.

"Some people write about it, some people sing about it, some people make films about it..", the list goes on. But others live it.

I live it. Be jealous.

i could be yours forever or not

2003-05-11T17:51:42Z

hm. I shall attempt to write about yesterday.

He called her, so she calls me freakin and we do that old 15 year old "oh my god..what do i wear" thing. I end up lookin like a freaky 90s grunge project..I change to a skirt and t-shirt and all is well. lol.

We head out to the adventures of the ghetto in an old cadillac. With loud boy sex music. Oh wow. Car rides there are amazing, in the backseat. He turns and says, "Don't got no breaks..You guys ready to dance?" It was more than exhilarating and at that point, death wasn't even an option.(I quote mels)

We drink some and the like and talk. Tell dirty nasty jokes and laugh. We go back to the house and watch home videos. The years that hadn't passed by them. They were still the same friends,the same meaning. The inching closer and the stupid movements to analyze.

We left around 4am. Parents say nothing. Its mother's day, and mother is not home. She never is. Where is my mother?..where has she been all these years? I could cry or simply accept the fact.

I got no money
I spent it all on a big black Cadillac yea honey
We’re gonna ride ride ride

If everything could feel so real as this

Telephone dreams and the songs of innocence

2003-05-05T15:16:14Z

Swapping Insane Asylum stories, Disoriented Walmart(Arizona) and learning, The highway files, Broward, short walks and home at 2am on Sunday night before school.

Today staring at the soot on the ceiling lights at school and realizing that the kid that sits next to me is from Las Vegas. haha.

Mels threw me into the amplifier yesterday, yea my knee still hurts.

Oh yea, May has a new set of rules.

Are we being too carefree?

That was just beautiful, you are beautiful to me, never forget that.

I want violence. The end.

TreeGrowsHeart: ay que linda la bebita mira quien essss haha
PinkVodkaNights: ohhh gracias..tu eres muy linda conmigo
PinkVodkaNights: hehe

p.s. 12:00pm.the next fuck who tells me that i'm so smart and have so much potential..what the fuck am i doing with my time..will get punched..i swear, i don't care if its my teacher, mom, friend. fuck off. time for park/beach.

sleeping on the beach never felt so much like home.

sleepy eyes won't make this feeling go away

2003-05-03T16:20:51Z

Smoke sessions in Yamil's "zen garden" and then smoke sessions laying on the grass like hippies. Then today as well..lol..ohh.

ok...I just started to sneeze..yea. I'm sick? the fuck..ha. its gone.

+Last night fun
+Met people fucked up once again. Time #1-rolling, Yesterday-high
+Blanca gets over bi-polar ex-boyfriend
+Cruise Miami. The highway is so lovely and so are city lights
+Partied at this club..haha.
+Red Room in South Beach next time..ohhh yea.
+We realized once again..everything in Miami is "chonga".

mass suicides? burning..hmm. the possibilities.

and he likes to shoot his gun
but he doesn't know what it means

purpledust @ 2003-04-05T16:54:00

2003-04-05T21:54:11Z

Melissa just called from Virginia. Its so weird..cause I keep thinking she's 2 minutes away..and she's not. And her mom's not coming back. I gonna miss her..even totally asking why I was smoking. haha

The nervous hysterics yesterday. "I have meaning!"..in cloud pants and everything. The jokes we played on Stephy's friends. haha. The Slutcore girls. Max, my friends is a LOSER. seriously..especially cause we called him and I died on the phone laughing..cause this kid was so stupid.

My mom sucks..cause she disconnected my phone. And today is the Coheed show that I have tickets for and I'm not going..what a waste of money.

The past couple of days have been fun. The great thing is I get to do it again in May. Fuck yesss, for TWO spring breaks. haha.

But then I started to think
It shouldn't hurt me to be free
It's what I really need
To pull myself together
But if it's so good being free
Would you mind telling me
Why I don't know what to do with myself

deceptahoe69: holy cross academy. its a private skool...
MaX2181: oh
deceptahoe69: what skool do you go to?
MaX2181: i herd u lil private skoo girls is freaky
MaX2181: bradock
deceptahoe69: yea thats right we ARE freaky. but ull never know until u try it.
MaX2181: then wen ugona let me try it
deceptahoe69: anytime baby im always in the mood.
MaX2181: let me get ur #
deceptahoe69: no my mom's home and she might hear me. but im naked anyways